Thursday, November 19, 2009

First Blog (Mandy Morbid Style)

Being as this is my first post here on the new blog, I wanted to start in the style of one of my favorite bloggers, and good friends, Mandy Morbid (psssst, she's a porn star). Here is a link to her blog, shes funny, insightful, and honestly, its a great read. Also she posts a fair amount of pictures of her tits on it, so it never gets boring. Here is a link to her blog (NWS): MANDY MORBID'S BLOG!

So here we go, Mandy style... i.e. answering questions posed by a friend (normally about her last few days, but these are general).

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1- what are you wearing?

I'm honestly not happy unless I have my "uniform" of jeans, comic-book t-shirt, and black Dickies over-shirt... and today... I am happy. Well happy with a sweater. (SaxFact: I own every long sleeve shirt Dickies makes in black)


2 - Why is gravity important?

What if its not? What if its been holding us back? Sure you love gravity now! But tell me that when you're falling out of a bay window!

3 - have you ever peed off a bridge?

No. Until now, its never come up. I wouldn't be opposed to it. (SaxFact: I had a very important kiss on a bridge once... the things we remember and what we tie them too)

4 - what's so funny about cow tipping?

A better question would be, what ISN'T funny about cow tipping? Find me a big land mammal that'll let me push it over into mud, and I'm a happy gun. Some cows die from cow-tipping I've been told... couldn't care in the least.

5 - who's your daddy?

Magnum P.I.


6 - what would God say to you right this minute if he called on the phone?

Probably wouldn't get much out edgewise as I kept willfully disbelieving him...

Me: Well if you're God, why are you calling on the phone?

God: I just didn't want to scare you my son...

Me: Bullshit! Who is this... Keith... is this Keith?

God: I am the lord your god, and I insist you listen to what I have to say!

Me: Well if you're god, why don't you MAKE me shut up! Huh! Mr. Omnipresence...

God: SMITE SMITE SMITE

Me: (smote)


7 - what's your preferred condiment?

Mustard... or wait... Soy Sauce... is that a condiment... or... well I guess its a sauce.. duh... so Mustard. But I love me some Soy Sauce!


8 - has anything been named after you?

A friend once gave me and my roommates some goldfish named after us... They all died pretty quick, the fish, not the roommates... but Sax-Fish lasted the longest. When it comes to fish longevity, having the shape to be named after the heavy-set roommate = long life.

9 - what was the best prize you ever got?

I won 2nd place in a stand-up contest the first time I ever did it, that helped me have the faith in my act to continue in NYC without any training or experience. But I also used to bet girls kisses on card tricks, I won a fair amount. More then once that kiss led to a relationship I probably didn't deserve... those were good prizes... so to speak.


10 - what was the one that got away?

Mostly its the "ones" who got away... and there is a short list of names there... but I also made some bad business choices and sank one of my best Television ideas once... still have a LOT or regret about that.

11 - ever eaten raw meat?

Yeah. Lots.

12 - do you own underpants you only wear of special occasions?


I once bought a pair of like 50 dollar boxer-briefs , and figured I'd use them for sex-dates... I wore then more then once... and the sex part never really came though. Comfortable as all hell tho.


13 - have you ever achieved bliss?

During my drug and excess phase I hit the cocktail of pleasures just right. I wouldn't want to try again... flying too close to the sun and all.

14 - have you ever been naked and in sand?

Oh GOD no... that's almost scary! You have no idea how little I want sand in places on me... it keeps me up at night to think about it.

15 - what was the last thing you were arrested for?

Driving without insurance... for the 4th or 5th time...

16 - name the sexiest fruit?

Paul Lynde

17 - if you were having twins tomorrow, what would you name them?

Blake, and Lawton (boys)

Jessica and Jennifer (girls)

18 - who's there?

The Shadow? (SaxFact: Loved the movie "The Shadow"... and have to defend that constantly)

19 - do you believe in life after death?

I refuse to speculate on the afterlife... we simply have no solid information on what it could possibly be. But I look forward to finding out. Really I do.

20 - is the great pacific garbage island manufactured environmental hype?

What you've landed on here is one of the worlds greatest unclaimed assets. Trash! Trash Treasure.


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Well thats it. 20 questions to start me off. Not all funny, or even interesting, but a good way to get the ball rolling. More soon folks, more soon!

SAX

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